The Wise Woman Builds Her Marriage

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

With dirty dishes in the sink, food stains on my clothes, play dough stuck in the carpet, meat trying to desperately defrost ten minutes before dinner, and hair in a messy pony tail, I tend to lose perspective. My husband changes from the love of my life to an annoyance as fast as Clark Kent changes into Superman. It is this attitude that hits my husband like a Mac truck as soon as he walks in the door after a long hard day at work. It is no surprise that a fight too ridiculous to even admit to ensues. We then spend the evening having a quiet dinner and watching TV with ourselves.

Can you see where that evening went wrong? Can you see that even a tiny act of disrespect can erode at a marriage? The descent of a marriage begins with a hint of selfishness and disrespect. When we begin to forget that we are on the same side we begin to feel isolated, unappreciated and frustrated. Those are feelings that build up in our marriage like a poison builds up in our body.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. 
~Proverbs 14:1

This does not mean that a wife holds sole responsibility for the health and well being of a marriage. However, we can only change our own attitude. We need to face our failings and take ownership of our flaws. A wife tears down the walls of her marriage each time she allows herself to disrespect her husband based on her own frustration. Your husband cannot be held responsible for the dirty dishes and play dough on the carpet while he has been at work just as you are not responsible for his boss yelling or not finding a good parking space that day.

We need to view each other as a haven, instead of allowing the frustrations of the day to rule our attitudes. Your husband walking through the door should be like the desert experiencing the rain not another dirty dish thrown in the sink. Greet him at the door with appreciation for the time he puts in at work. Smile! Build the walls of your marriage on teamwork, love, respect, admiration and a sense that the two of you are on this life’s journey together. I promise that he will join you by adding bricks to that wall. When you experience bad days let it serve as a reminder that he also experiences bad days. This is a time to look to each other for comfort not for conflict. So instead of having a quiet dinner because you can’t yell and swallow at the same time, have a quiet dinner embracing the peace of mind you bring to each other. If your husband replaces chocolate and becomes a relaxing element in your life you may even loose a few pounds.

In Service to Christ,



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