The Purpose of a Wife

 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

~Proverbs 12:4

Have you ever tried eating your steak with a spoon?  How about writing with a carrot?  Do you find yourself trying to take pictures with your microwave?  I certainly hope you answer no to those questions.  If we tried cutting steak with a spoon we would become quite frustrated.  If we judged a carrot by its ability to write we would be disappointed indeed.  If we kept trying to take pictures with a microwave we would have empty picture albums.  An item must be used for its intended purpose to be appreciated.  Likewise, we need to find our purpose to understand the role we have to play in this life. 

The world would have us believe submission is for weak doormats who have abandoned a higher calling.  I submit to you that there is no higher calling than the one you are called to fulfill.  If you are a wife you are called to fulfill that role by seeking God’s Word not the world’s advice and prideful arrogance.  To know our purpose, to fulfill our calling, we need to know why we were fashioned.  Why was woman made?  What is our purpose as a wife? 

Let’s first discover the answer to why woman was made by God.  We learn in Genesis that the first woman, Eve, was made to be a helpmeet to Adam.  Adam named her, woman, as she was fashioned out of his flesh and bone.  Adam’s authority was reinforced by the naming of his wife.  Eve’s purpose was to be a helpmeet to her husband.   

A wife is to support and respect her husband’s God given authority.  A wife finds purpose in fulfilling her role as a loving, submissive, and God fearing woman.  She is not ashamed of this position.  She does not demean the will of God in her life.  What greater achievement can be made but to fill the shoes the Lord cobbled for you?  A wife is depended upon by her husband for support, love, compassion, and wise counsel.  A wife is her husband’s closest confidante.  Our purpose is to help our husbands serve the Lord and follow the will of God.   

Submission is the beautiful picture of the church’s love and devotion to Christ.  Our willingness to serve our husbands is about our willingness to serve the Lord.  Submission is not about being downtrodden but about being uplifted.  Submission is not about playing second fiddle or playing second string but about being the first fiddle and MVP for our husbands and families.    

As I sit down for dinner I look across to see a king seated at my table and realize I am his queen.   The sooner a queen learns to respect her position and work within it the sooner she will see the blessings of her role.  As she prepares herself daily with the Word of God so she can be a necessary spiritual element to her family. A queen will find her joy in serving her heavenly father through being the wife her husband needs and relies upon. A queen never belittles, ignores, or disrespects her king.  A queen does not conspire against her king or consort with his enemies.  A queen speaks highly of her king in public while uplifting him in private.  She has the power to build up or tear down her kingdom.  A ceiling cannot stand without the support of the walls.  Likewise, our king cannot stand without the support of the queen.  Wives should strive daily to become the queen her Heavenly King intends her to be for her earthly king.         

In Service to Christ,

The Wise Woman Builds Her Marriage

With dirty dishes in the sink, food stains on my clothes, play dough stuck in the carpet, meat trying to desperately defrost ten minutes before dinner, and hair in a messy pony tail, I tend to lose perspective. My husband changes from the love of my life to an annoyance as fast as Clark Kent changes into Superman. It is this attitude that hits my husband like a Mac truck as soon as he walks in the door after a long hard day at work. It is no surprise that a fight too ridiculous to even admit to ensues. We then spend the evening having a quiet dinner and watching TV with ourselves.

Can you see where that evening went wrong? Can you see that even a tiny act of disrespect can erode at a marriage? The descent of a marriage begins with a hint of selfishness and disrespect. When we begin to forget that we are on the same side we begin to feel isolated, unappreciated and frustrated. Those are feelings that build up in our marriage like a poison builds up in our body.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. 

~Proverbs 14:1

This does not mean that a wife holds sole responsibility for the health and well being of a marriage. However, we can only change our own attitude. We need to face our failings and take ownership of our flaws. A wife tears down the walls of her marriage each time she allows herself to disrespect her husband based on her own frustration. Your husband cannot be held responsible for the dirty dishes and play dough on the carpet while he has been at work just as you are not responsible for his boss yelling or not finding a good parking space that day.

We need to view each other as a haven, instead of allowing the frustrations of the day to rule our attitudes. Your husband walking through the door should be like the desert experiencing the rain not another dirty dish thrown in the sink. Greet him at the door with appreciation for the time he puts in at work. Smile! Build the walls of your marriage on teamwork, love, respect, admiration and a sense that the two of you are on this life’s journey together. I promise that he will join you by adding bricks to that wall. When you experience bad days let it serve as a reminder that he also experiences bad days. This is a time to look to each other for comfort not for conflict. So instead of having a quiet dinner because you can’t yell and swallow at the same time, have a quiet dinner embracing the peace of mind you bring to each other. If your husband replaces chocolate and becomes a relaxing element in your life you may even loose a few pounds.

In Service to Christ,